The Question That Kept Coming Up
Over the years, I’ve had countless conversations with friends, colleagues, and students about a surprising source of anxiety: doing things alone. Whether it’s eating at a restaurant by yourself, catching a movie solo, or traveling without a companion, people often express fear or discomfort at the thought. It struck me how universal this feeling was, and yet how rarely we talk about it in a way that addresses the root of the concern.
That’s part of what inspired me to write “Tabansi The Tiger and the Joy of One,” a children’s book published in May 2026. I wanted to create something that would help kids (and adults) feel confident in doing activities independently. The book follows Tabansi, a spirited tiger whose name means “one who endures,” as he faces this same challenge in the jungle. Through his journey, readers see that being alone doesn’t have to mean being lonely.
What We’re Really Afraid Of
When I face challenges, I try to make sure I understand the root causes of the problem before jumping to solutions. That approach helped me think through what makes solo activities feel intimidating for so many people. Usually, it’s not the activity itself. It’s the perception of what others might think.
We worry that eating alone signals we have no friends. We think going to a movie by ourselves looks sad or strange. We fear that traveling solo means we’re running away from something rather than running toward an adventure. But these are stories we tell ourselves, not truths about the experience.
The reality is that doing things alone can be incredibly freeing. You choose the restaurant you actually want to try. You see the movie that interests you without compromise. You explore at your own pace and follow your curiosity wherever it leads.
Building Confidence in Independence
For me, one of the more practical benefits of becoming comfortable doing things alone is that it can build confidence in your ability to handle unfamiliar situations.
When you do something independently, there is no one else to rely on for every small decision. You have to figure out where to go, what to do, how to adjust when something doesn’t go as expected, and sometimes how to solve a problem on your own. Those experiences can be small, but they give you information about what you are capable of handling.
I think that is where some of the value of independence comes from. It is not necessarily about proving that you can do everything yourself. It is about becoming more comfortable making decisions, adapting when things change, and trusting yourself to work through situations you haven’t encountered before.
That confidence can carry into other parts of life. Once you’ve had the experience of navigating something unfamiliar on your own, the next unfamiliar situation may not feel quite as intimidating.
For me, that is a more interesting way to think about independence. It isn’t about avoiding other people or preferring to be alone. It’s about knowing that you can enjoy experiences with other people while also being comfortable enough with yourself to go somewhere, try something, or make a decision when no one else is available to come with you.
What Tabansi Taught Me
Writing this book was a fun yet meaningful project, and it taught me as much as I hope it teaches readers. Tabansi’s journey in the jungle mirrors the internal journey many of us need to take: learning that our own company can be enough.
Really internalizing this concept is a huge achievement because it allows you to develop a strong relationship with yourself. How can you truly know what you enjoy, what energizes you, or what you need if you never spend time alone with your thoughts?
Although connection with others matters deeply, I have learned that connection with self comes first. You can’t show up fully for family, friends, or students if you haven’t figured out who you are.
The Practical Benefits
Beyond emotional growth, solo activities offer concrete advantages. When you travel alone, you move at your own rhythm. When you eat alone, you can truly savor your food without dividing attention. When you see a movie alone, you form your own uninfluenced opinion before hearing everyone else’s takes.
These moments also build problem-solving and critical thinking skills. When you’re by yourself and something goes wrong, you figure it out. You ask for directions. You find an alternative. You adapt. Those small victories accumulate into genuine confidence.
Moving Forward
If the idea of doing something alone makes you uncomfortable, I’d encourage you to ask yourself why. What’s the worst that could happen? What’s the best? What’s most likely?
There’s room to explore, to learn, to try new things. Sometimes that exploration is most powerful when we do it on our own terms, in our own company.
Tabansi the tiger learned to embrace the joy of one. It’s a lesson that resonates whether you’re a child reading about adventure in the jungle or an adult finally trying that restaurant you’ve been curious about. Being alone isn’t something to fear. It’s something to practice, to enjoy, and maybe even to celebrate.
